You Are Worth the Wait

Every Friday night, my wife, Linda, and I are involved with a ministry called Friday Night Live. It's a weekly bible study, in which we use English as a platform to share the gospel.

Well, last night our topic was David - The Repentant King. We taught on the story of David and Bathsheba. Difficult topic to cover, especially given the fact that Linda and I teach teens. However, God really worked. And there were some really good responses from the teens.

This morning while reflecting over last night's lesson, the strongest desire arose in me. I really want and desire to instill in young men and women this idea that "You are worth the wait."

You see, one of our students shared a story yesterday about how her boyfriend pressured her to have sex by using the now cliche line, "If you loved me, you'd do it." And anytime I hear a story like this, it just makes me angry.

It makes me want to take that guy, slap in the back of the head and say, "You IDIOT! Who do you think you are?" But that would not be a very Christian, nor very helpful thing to do.

As I was venting to God about the idiocy of this guy, and moping about the lost innocence, I felt God giving me his heart for not only the girl, but also the boy.

I felt God telling me that the boy was insecure. He wanted to prove his manhood, and exert control. But it was all coming out the wrong way. And the girl, well, the girl did not and still does not really understand her value. The value that God placed in her.

See, I believe if we truly understand our value, and what God has placed in us. We're not going to give ourselves away so haphazardly. Just like we're not going to just throw a $100 bill into the trash. Ideally, we'd wait until we see something of value before parting with that $100 bill. Bringing this analogy back into the Christian context, of course, it would mean saving yourself for marriage.

There are so many issues surrounding this area of pre-marital sex.

But I think at the core of it is a limited and broken understanding of who we are and whose we are.

You see, if we can understand who we are, how precious we are, and the fact that we are God's children - royalty, we aren't going to just give ourselves to anyone who hasn't proven themselves worthy. Girls, if some guy tries to use the line, "If you loved me you would do this." I'm sorry, well, turn around and tell them "If you loved me, you wouldn't do this." And guys, we are the princes, we're supposed to save lives, and restore lives, not steal and destroy. RESPECT our sisters.

But this brings us to the second area where we lack understanding, we don't understand whose we are. You see, a lot of us would have a hard time saying no to those that we "love." Why? Because we're afraid to lose them. I can't say, "If you loved me, you wouldn't do this." What if he says no and then leaves me? What if I lose him forever?

To that I say GOOD RIDDANCE. You see if you really understand whose you are, that you are a child of THE KING. Then you would realize that this guy, is not the ONLY guy. In fact, he has the best prepared for us. So we wouldn't try to cling onto something that wasn't worth clinging on to.

Too many of us live as if we are orphans. We feel that if we don't grab onto this opportunity, person, etc... for dear life, we're going to lose it and another may not come. But if we live as children of the king, we realize that our Daddy's resources are limitless. Nothing is impossible with our God, our Father.

So, friends, please, please, please. Respect yourself and others. Know that you are so, so precious and so valuable. And also know that our Daddy God loves us and desires to give us the world. So we need not fear that if we lose out on a guy or girl because of our morals that we'll be single for the rest of our lives. In fact, if we can wait, maintain our purity and refuse to compromise, there are beautiful things ahead.

Yes, and . . .

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it). --Ephesians 3:20-21 [Amplified]

Today while reading over and studying the verse that inspired this blog, I was struck by one word -- "AND". This short conjunction carries a powerful wallop and important truth that I think we often overlook.

Look at the first two lines of the verse above. Did you notice? "He is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think . . .

I think so often we think of God as the cosmic, "NO!" "No, you can't do this. You can't do that. Stop that. Watch out or I'm going to punish you!" And we often think that while God is good, he is ultimately more concerned about himself, his kingdom and his purposes than ours. We are under the impression that God's purposes and desires often are exclusive of our own desires and dreams. And that in order to be true servants, we must kill all dreams and desires from our hearts and submit to Christ.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against submission. In fact, I think that that is the backbone of a relationship with Christ. However, submission does not mean you become a Christian drone with no thoughts, opinions or desires of your own.

As an actor, I've often had the opportunity to be involved in various improv games. One of the first rules of improv is "Yes, and . . ." This means as you interact with others on stage, you take what they're doing and where they're taking the scene, and you build upon it. You say, "Yes, I receive that. And let me add to it and bring even more to it." Those that can really understand this concept often are the masters of improv.

Recently, I've been reading a couple of books out of Bethel Church in Redding, CA. These books have been opening my eyes and changing my worldview. I've been blown away by many of the revelations in these books.

In one of the books, "Dreaming with God," Bill Johnson, the head of Bethel Church and author of the book, writes about how God desires to partner with us. He writes, "God never intended that the believer be a puppet on a string. God actually makes Himself vulnerable to the desires of His people. In fact, it can be said, "if it matters to you, it matters to Him."

If it matters to you, it matters to Him. Who do you think gave you those dreams and wishes? You think you came up with these things yourself? No! God gave you these dreams.

So what are your dreams? You desire to have children, to be a mother or a father? Keep seeking the Lord. You desire to be a successful business person/ doctor/ lawyer? Go on, friend! You want the world to know your art, to enjoy your music, to laugh or weep at one of your performances. Press on.

Dream on dear friends, dear family. Dream on! And speak to Daddy God about those dreams. Your dreams do NOT cancel out His purposes. He will carry out His purposes. You don't need to worry about that. He in his sovereignty, and in his grace desires to weave our dreams and our desires into his dreams, his desires and his purposes.

It is an amazing thing. Yes, Lord, and . . .

Holiness

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

My wife, Linda, and I spent some time together last night listening to a sermon from Cindy Jacobs on holiness. It was a powerful message.

During the message she said many things that really resonated within me. First, she spoke of holiness as coming out of a right relationship with God.

I think in the past, holiness was preached out of a religious spirit. A religious spirit is one that is focused on rules and regulations. One that is all about what MAN can do in order to be right, and be good. Religion starts with man's efforts and "being good" out of fear of punishment.

However, as Christians, it is no longer about religion. It's about relationship. We love because God first loved us. Our obedience, our desire to be holy comes out of a relationship with God. It's a response. It's not initiated by us, but we honor God out of love and respect in the same way that I honor and love Linda not because I am trying to earn her favor or get her to like me, but because I cherish her, and I don't ever want to do anything to hurt her.

So many of my generation and younger have not heard about holiness. I believe much of this is because previous generation heard so much of the fire and brimstone growing up, they kind of began to avoid it. They didn't want to preach a condemning gospel. As a result, I believe that "holiness" has become quite relative. It's become "watered" down in some ways. We have allowed ourselves to mix and dabble with "sin."

But truth is God's standards haven't changed. He has never stopped calling us to be holy. And, sin is not relative. Sin is sin.

What does it mean to be holy? What is holy?

Well, the bible uses the word "holy" in two different ways.

The first:

1. (superl.) Set apart to the service or worship of God; hallowed; sacred; reserved from profane or common use; holy vessels; a holy priesthood.

Something that is holy is set apart. It is not mixed with other "common" items. It is reserved from profane or common use.

We are to live lives that are set apart, reserved from profane or common use.

Is your life "set apart?"

For example, the world tells us it's OK to cohabit before marriage. Is this a cultural thing? Or is it really something to be aware of? The bible doesn't say anything about whether cohabiting before marriage is right or wrong. So is it OK?

Well, if we are taking this definition of "holy" to heart and we think about it some more, are we setting ourselves apart? Is our life any different from those that aren't Christians if we do so? What makes us different from non-believers if we're doing exactly what they do? If we live our lives in the same way as non-Christians then what is the point of being a Christian?

On a side note, marriage, particularly Christian marriage, is called, "holy matrimony." HOLY matrimony. It is set apart. There should be a difference between life BEFORE marriage and life AFTER marriage. And it's not just about the sex. The sad thing is I have heard from more than one friend that their lives before marriage and after marriage were not really all that different. Why? They were already living together. Marriage is so much more than just signing a paper. If that's the only difference between "being married" and "not being married" well, then what's the point? It's no wonder that so many people out there are living together as husband and wife, but are not really husband and wife.

But I digress.

Back to holiness.

Definition 2:
2. (superl.) Spiritually whole or sound; of unimpaired innocence and virtue; free from sinful affections; pure in heart; godly; pious; irreproachable; guiltless; acceptable to God.

This is the definition that most of us think of when we think of being "holy." The idea is that we are clean. We are sinless. We are pure.

Of course, none of us WERE perfect. We have all sinned in the past. But the beautiful thing is that with Christ all of that is behind us. "By his wounds we HAVE BEEN healed." Past progressive. HAVE BEEN. But are we living as if these things are behind us? Have we been healed and changed?

The standard is 100% pure. 100% clean. We can't dabble and think it's OK. "Well, it's not porn. It's just a sex scene. You don't see anything." Hmm...

I heard an illustration recently that speaks to this.

If I filled a glass with pure, filtered water, and then took a dropper and added a drop of water from the toilet, would you drink it? Maybe? OK. Let me make it more graphic.

I've been traveling around visiting different schools. And some of the bathrooms at these schools . . . let's just say that sometimes I wish I had a gas mask and a full body suit. Now let me get a drop of water from one of these toilets. Now would you drink it?

No? Why not? 99.9% of it is clean.

Most of us would not drink it, unless we were desperate, because that .1% permeates into the pureness and defiles it. It's unclean.

Stop dabbling!

Cindy Jacobs said something else in her sermon from last night. She said, when we become Chrisitans, the Holy Spirit comes and lives within us. He is WITHIN us. How DARE we sit in front of the computer or television and defile ourselves while He is within us? And we get drunk or poison ourselves with drugs, and put allow all sorts of crap into our bodies and souls, all while HE is WITHIN US.

Let me give you this imagery, this is my own, not Cindy Jacobs', so if it offends you, I'm sorry.

Let's imagine that today you come over to my house for a visit. I bring you up to my beautiful guest room, which I have especially prepared for you. Fresh sheets, clean towels, mint on the pillow, the works. Now, sometime during the day as you are in the room, I take a bucket of garbage, waste and fecal matter and dump it into the room, splattering you in the process. How would you feel?

That, my friend, is what happens when we do these things while the Holy Spirit is within us.

Now I am by no means preaching from holier and thou perspective. I say all of these things, because I have NOT lived up to this standard. I have not lived the holy life that is set apart that is pure that the Lord has called me to.

And I am SO SORRY. That picture of the holy spirit living in me while I did some of the stuff that I did in the past. Oh, man.

The sermon was a powerful reminder to me to stop dabbling.

I am recommitting my life to be PURE, to be HOLY. Not because I am afraid of punishment, but because I love HIM. I love my DADDY, my LORD, my SAVIOR. And I do not want to grieve him ever again.

Will you join me?

Slowing Down

I get this weekly e-mail in my inbox from a group called Hollywood Connect. I really enjoy this guy's writing. I thought this week's letter was worth sharing and passing along.


Thursday E-mail - February 4, 2010

The Quick and the Dead

One of the most wearisome parts of being human is the amount of time that it can take to get anywhere, especially the places you want to go. It can be oh-so-difficult to have a God-given vision of what should be, of what could be, of what exists so clearly in one’s imagination and faith – and yet have it just out of reach for what seems to be an interminable amount of time. The desire to see the vision materialize into existence may prompt an individual to keep working toward the goal, but for some reason that same desire almost never makes the goal arrive any sooner than it is supposed to.

I’ve had the opportunity to learn that lesson over and over again, and find it at work even as an artist. Maybe especially as an artist. It’s just that I can see the goal so clearly. It’s inspiring! It’s pristine! It’s glorious! I can point it out to the people who are going there with me and describe it to those who are encouraging me along the way. But aside from diligently plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other, I can’t seem to make the trip go any faster.

Apparently, that isn’t up to me, no matter how much I pick up the pace.

That is the irony of our respective journeys – we have stewardship over the process of the journey to the destination, but it seems that we have little, if any, control over how long that journey is going to take. On second thought, scratch that. I should say that, by all appearances, we have plenty of ability to hamper things on our own – by our distractions, our indecisions, our over-analysis, and our hesitations, all of which we seem to have in abundance – but we don’t seem to be able to arrive at our destinations before their time.

To everything, according to one songwriter, there is a season, and just to add to the angst, a completely different songwriter assures us that the waiting is the hardest part. Perhaps this comes from a fear of being late, even though the promise is that all things will be made beautiful in their own time. And so we find ourselves cursing the slowness by which we head towards our goals.

A couple years ago, I found myself in a place in life in which I couldn’t drive my car for several months. In the vast sprawl that is Los Angeles, getting very far was nothing short of frustrating. So a generous friend bought me a good bicycle. It was a terrific blessing, and one for which I was truly grateful (you who did it, you know who you are) – and for more than one reason. Yes, it got me where I needed to go, and, sure, it got me in pretty good shape, but that bike helped me to do something even more substantial and worthwhile. It got me to slow down.

Suddenly (if I can use that word in the context of ‘slowing down’), I was traveling not at the breakneck speed of the typical Southern California automobile driver, but at the pace of the urban bicyclist. No longer able to use the freeway system, I was forced to find alternate routes, side streets, and hidden neighborhoods that I never would have sought out if I were in a car. And the strange thing I came to realize is that, in spite of my slower pace, I was enjoying myself. I could catch the smell of spices as I passed through various ethnic neighborhoods. I received a smile and a wave from the mother and her little girl playing in their tiny yard. I could hear neighbors chatting with each other over fences. I could see the small mom-and-pop shops and the wares they displayed in their windows. I could read clever graffiti on the sides of buildings (well… some of it was clever).

And all these were things that I never would have had the opportunity to experience if I had been going as fast as I wanted to. All of a sudden, the world was bigger because I was going slow enough to see the small details. And so, oddly enough, I was thankful for this pace, which I would have otherwise considered sluggish, because it left me with a sensation that I was increasingly… alive.

I felt sorry for all those motorists who were unaware of this breathing world that existed at the slower tempos. I felt bad for those drivers who had their feet clamped down on their accelerators and who couldn’t be engaged in all the life that was going on around them. I pitied the quick and the dead.

These days, I’m back in the driver’s seat of my 1995 Toyota Camry, hoping that perhaps someday a generous friend will buy me a better, faster car (you who are supposed to do it, you know who you are). My right foot is clamped down on the accelerator in my effort to keep up with the speed demons of the freeway. In the midst of the frenzy, however, I’m haunted by spices and chatter and clever graffiti and a thought that slowly takes shape in my mind like all those goals and destinations I can envision so clearly, and that thought is this:

Faster is not always better.
All my best,

Shun Lee
Director
Hollywood Connect

Faster is not always better. That is one of those truths that is so hard to take, but so relevant. Several points resonated with me in his letter. First, the idea of wanting to be there already! I definitely am one of those who see a better future, and feel like it's taking forever to get there. Second, I definitely connect with the fear of being too late. I'm constantly wondering, "Am I past my prime? Shouldn't I have been there like 5 years ago?" So I like the reminder that "GOD makes all things beautiful IN HIS TIME." Let's keep walking, friends. Don't be in such a rush. As it seems to be my style now, I leave you with yet another cliche. STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES! Your life will be so much the richer for it.

Sucking

Sucking.

This is something that many of us, well, most of us avoid with a passion.

We have been conditioned from a young age to always give off the heir of having it all together. We've been encouraged to pursue excellence and to do things with expertise.

However, I think so often we forget that before we can be experts, we must be willing to SUCK.

Why is it that the older we get, the harder it is to learn new things? Why is it that, as the saying goes, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

Well, I believe it's multifaceted.

First, the older we get the more conscious we are and more sensitive we are to making fools of ourselves. We are embarrassed to fail and look stupid. So when something is unfamiliar, or unknown to us, most of us err on the side of avoiding it completely, for the fear of being made the fool.

Second, the older we get, the more we learn and the less we're able to just absorb. It's in a way the way we're designed. As we learn new things we connect and compare the new things with things we already know about. However, sometimes, when we get new information and it doesn't seem to fit with what we've learned and understood to be truth in the past, we tend to just reject it or deny its validity without really checking whether this is something of worth to take in.

Third, expectations. This is slightly connected to the first facet. We have expectations on ourselves to know certain things and to behave in certain ways. And others have expectations on us as well. And we have been conditioned to not disappoint.

Fourth, we are unwilling to risk and experiment. We are all very self-preserving and avoid pain as much as possible. We don't like to take chances.

Take for example, a baby. Why are babies and young children able to learn languages so fast? Because, First, they're not afraid to look stupid. They don't even think about it. Do you think that a kid cares that it said, "APPO" instead of "APPLE?" "FF" instead of "RUTH?" No! Second, they have nothing to compare things to. So really they are just absorbing. They're not constantly rejecting things based on what they "THINK" they know. Because they don't know anything. Have you ever noticed how gullible kids are? Third, there are no expectations. Adults don't expect kids to know how to do anything. People expect kids to fall down and look stupid. And they laugh it off. It's not a big deal. So kids are free to make mistakes and learn as they go. And they learn quickly as a result. Fourth, kids are curious. They explore, they use their imagination. They are more willing to risk because they haven't quite learned the idea of self-preservation yet.

I think what it all boils down to is your willingness to let your guard down, to look stupid, to be the fool. Because you know what? We won't always stay there.

Is there something you've always wanted to try, but just never dared? WELL, DO IT!

Accept the fact that you are going to SUCK. That you might look stupid or sound stupid or whatever for awhile. But THAT is a natural part of the process.

The key is to work past that. Practice, figure out how to improve, take lessons.

You will move from SUCKING to SUCKING LESS to eventually SHINING!

But you must be willing to step out and be the fool.

So GO AHEAD. GET OUT THERE AND SUCK!

212°

This inspired me today. Hope it will inspire you too. Enjoy!

No Day But Today

Something in me longs for greatness. What that greatness looks like? I don't know. But as cliche as it is, I want to make my mark on this world. I want to leave a legacy. And there are many days when I grow frustrated because I feel like I am making as much progress as a person writing with chalk on a sidewalk in pouring rain. I feel like I'm getting nowhere.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Whether your dream is to discover the cure for some rare disease, to write the perfect song, to raise a loving family, to (you fill in the blank), there is something inside of us that says, "There must be more."

And on this journey towards greatness we are accompanied by a chorus of voices that we can't seem to quiet. There's the "Whiner." "Why am I not successful yet? This is so frustrating. I hate this." Pretty soon the "Doubter" starts chiming in. "Will I ever get there? Maybe I'm not good enough. Do I even have what it takes? Probably not." Then the "Quitter" decides to join the party. "Forget this. This is too hard. It's so not worth it. I'm too tired. Let's just sit on the couch and watch some mind-numbing television. Then we don't have to think about any of this."

Sound familiar?

Well, for all of you dreamers out there, take heart.

Remember GOD, our creator, HE is the ultimate dreamer. His dreams for us are far greater than we could ever ask or imagine. (Hence the name of this blog.) Also, God has never asked us to "BE THERE" already. Only to walk with him daily and to trust him.

Simple. Yet so hard!

God has been speaking to me over and over these words about just taking things one day at a time.

Do what you need to do today, and eventually you will collect enough experiences to have made something substantial.

We've all heard the cliches:
Rome wasn't built in a day.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
It's the little things that count.

As tired as these sayings are, we shouldn't discount them. They are cliches for a reason.

So are you faced with a giant task? Are you seeking to climb your Everest?

Break it down. Have a goal. Figure out when you want to accomplish the goal. Then break it down by month, week and eventually by day.

Meet your daily goal for seven days, and you will naturally meet your weekly goal. Meet your weekly goal four times, you'll reach your monthly goal. Reach your monthly goal 12 times and that's your yearly goal.

This is how great things are accomplished. Step by step. Bit by bit.

Don't get so overwhelmed by the ginormous goal that you never step forward.

Ask God today what he wants you to do today. And do it. Then repeat again tomorrow.

A month from now, a year from now, you will look back and realize, "Wow! I've actually gone somewhere." This will give you the strength you need to keep moving forward.

So go head. Take a step!

There's NO DAY BUT TODAY!